stretched out..

blossom....

2008-07-04T21:19:00.011+08:00

as my beard starts to grow faster by the second... and this belly seems to expand itself day by day... i realized(if u just realized,what i just realized..haha can't help it.love the song..) that time does fly... or warp itself as everything in life starts to become more and more divulge... how politics seems to become more and more obvious... of how crooked everything is... of how money seems to become the epitome(loved this song too..) of one's life... how lust seems to conquer the brain more than it should, where feelings starts to matter more.... where we never cared but we worry so much for something. what was practical seems so complicated(avril, sigh**)... what choices we have seems to always be wrong... why we even think when we know what to do... why am i even mumbling when it's all just crap... it's a grown up world. something we once wish for, as everything that's fun is above 18,or 21... but along comes the viruses and spy wares, you realized that everything just creeps up on you... slows you down... **sigh*** wish i was back in dorm 6 where the only worry i had was the night's warden(or the weird noise from petet's side of the bed..hmm..)... and that never even mattered...

what does matter though... is my car... which keeps draining my pocket every chance it has. my family, as i start to feel more and more responsible for them...because i can. and my sweet sunshine... my single orchid... my midnight lullaby...hopefully my other half. those matters more...
i'm too shallow, stupid even to talk about politics, or the downfall of the economy by the U.S manipulation of oil prices. but at this worried times, like any other pakciks,makciks or typical malaysians.... where we always depend or listen to our leaders.. we want to be assured... we want our leaders to think out of the box. we know 1+1 is 2. we want something more out of them. they are supposedly world class leaders for !@$%^!! sake.
And we believe what we see... and all we see are pathetic leaders who act all strong and wise but in truth seems clueless of whats happening...who seems scared of the oppositions next move more than the global threat. thats what us shallow people see, and guess what... we are the majority of malaysia. so change our perception. and we might see things differently. we don't just care about the bigger picture.. we care every single frame... so fix it.

i never cared so much about politics..or any big crisis around the globe... yes i'm that selfish. I love living my life knowing i am doing a greater good somewhere.. even if its a simple deed of picking a can. so if somebody like me(and i assumed millions others like me) seems to care... then i guess a change would be good. you suckla paklah. sorry,had to say it.

anyway.. i'm back onboard now... family, friends, a car and a girl... it was the perfect holiday. sigh... thanks guys, and err..love :))
till the next tingling, or just the next reform.. later guys.

monkey business....

stay

2008-04-17T22:29:00.000+08:00

it's good to be home...

hit...

2006-12-04T20:30:00.000+08:00

'cinta' is in the air..haha, or at the cinema i guess... anyway, it's a good movie to watch if you're with a special someone...sort of.unless you're gay or if you're with a group of gay guys, you can always watch it alone in the cinema,if not..wait for the cdla..
lucky for me.. i had the excuse of watching it with a special friend.. which makes it a special movie for me(hahaha).. its a beautiful film. words are kept right where it hurts or felt the most, the colour and pictures are a pleasure to the eye...(love this one scene where there's cows in the background..huhu..) its heartwarming and entertaining.... plus i get to watch it with that someone :)
its one of those films where you leave the hall smiling.seriously, you won't mind telling people that this is a malaysian film.

anyway..on a different note, nowadays i'm watching heroes...my ears favoring to the fray's how to save a life(again n again n again..)..playing with nothing but myself(hahaha that sounds funny..) as my xbox's tvs broken....cruising in my brand new with a scratch 2.0 civic(while crying along the way as i pay the bill..), realising that my heart tends to pound faster nowadays as i hope, or wish while listening to that one sweet voice..sighh. yes youppe..i willingly become your target practice...

'cinta' s in the air ehhh..hahaha..banyakla..

2006-08-02T01:09:00.000+08:00

and then there were 9...(well.... 11 actually , 2 cadets gone m.i.a !@#$%^&!!)

-Puteri Delima, fellow engineers August 2006.

fly....

2006-07-03T00:32:00.000+08:00

I’m now on top of the monkey island… the highest point on the ship… I’m without a red cape.. but I am ready to fly.. I will fly.. I will fly…. I’d probably die.. well.. actually I’m in my room.. but I still wish I could fly.. if Christopher reeves made us believe that a man can fly..brandon routh just made me wish I could fly… the film was great.. I don’t care what the critic says.. I once again bow to Singer… the most powerful superhero ever created.. and it was magnificently presented by Singer. I like every single bit of it.. the way Supes stops the plane.. stop a bullet with his eye.. puffs away fire.. the way he gaze upon the sun.. the way he flies…watches the earth from atop.. carries a whole continent on his shoulder.. he was god among men.. and Singer knows it. And when his on his knees, it was still a great scene.. luthor being lex luthor.. Kevin spacey was no mistake. Superman returns after 5 years in space… and when he did his first save in the movie, I felt the lost. That was how great Singer did with the movie. I felt like I was reading a masterpiece by alex ross. Where every picture spoke through itself.. there was little dialogue, but every action speaks.even I myself am out of words.. I really am a happy guy today.. being in bintulu I didn’t expect there could be superman returns in the Cineplex… but there was. Though it was no gsc.. there was nothing to complain about. It was worth every damn penny… though not as good as spidey.. but still a masterpiece. i really need to fly...

numb..?

2006-06-06T00:12:00.000+08:00

here's something that i wrote about a week ago, on my first night signing on... hahaha..

The sea’s around the corner… sort of.. I’m in port actually, onboard puteri delima… just finish unpacking some of my stuff…. Lots more to go.. probably finish up tomorrow. It was supposed to be 4 months of sea, and 2 months of pure holiday enjoyment. Instead, it was 4 months of sea, and 3 and a half months of pure holiday…. I’m not complaining, but then just now when my counterpart who I am relieving handed over his duties and showed me around the engine room, I realized how everything seems like something new… even the compressor which I strip naked the last time I was onboard seem to look like some scary machine waiting to slowly devour my life in the next 4 months…. I guess everything has its setbacks.. anyway.. it didn’t really bother me much.. yesterday for a few hours of my life I felt a bit lifted.. Al’s gf Diana sent out a simple hello from a friend. It might just be sarcasm, or really just a hello and maybe I’m wayyy getting carried over by this, a bit stupid for that matter.. but still.. it felt .. nice. Hehe, blissful’s a bit like it as well. Maybe in time it wouldn’t be just sarcasm… maybe in time it’ll be a simple hello followed with a small chat, maybe even a trip to the GSC. I don’t know.., maybe I’m just bored… and a bit lifted… hahahahaha..i’m repeating myself now. Blissful..? who am I kidding. I better get some sleep….

shit... and here's one of those things that reminded me why i like one of those mellow rock sound so much...

And if the moon and stars should fall
They'd be easy to replace
I would lift you up to heaven
And you would take their place

…..

And if the sun
Should ever fail to send his light
We will burn a thousand candles
And make everything alright

-warrant, I saw red.

it's like goo goo doll's iris all over again for me.... and that was wayy too long ago... wtf..????!@#!%@#^$%^**!!

sad..sad.. day

2006-05-25T05:01:00.001+08:00

i am still awed... my heart in frustration, my brain felt err.stupid? myself uncertain of what to say.. its not about money..nor is it about a girl.(the girl.?haha..-nonsense)its not about boredom.. its hope.. and the sad feeling of disappointment. in 2000, i jumped the gates of the malay college to look for something to watch in j.j's room... then did i came across x-men... shocked..and a bit of ashamed i guess, one of the biggest comic book title being made into a film and i never knew about it.suspicious at first..seeing how x-men does came close to being a potential xrated movie.. or maybe a stupid b grade movie using the name. i bought the cd.(it was a win win situation..-evil smirk..) and as i saw how that star trek guy resembles xavier, watch the cool visor that cyclops wear... as wolverine lash out his claws right in somebody's face, magneto..well just being magneto... it was one of the happiest thing that happened to me. right then i really thanked bryan singer... he actually made it happen. then came x2, and with no shame i'm saying this again.. nightcrawler's intro in x2 is byfar the most satisfying intro that i've watched. i felt like i'm reading the comic book as the 'puff' sound from his teleportation keeps coming out... and with x2, it was stronger character, and a stronger plot.. and i again bow to singer.
6 years after, come x-men3. bryan singer took the job with warner bros. making superman returns.fox didn't like it so they pulled out the contract and hires a new guy... 5 hours ago was one of the biggest disappointment in my life. watching x3, i never did once felt an excitement of watching any of the characters appear on screen.i'd go like wow, juggernaut..woo,thats multiple man(madrox),cool.. its shadowcat..then thats it. there was nothing, i don't even know what the fuck's angel doing in this movie anyway???i guess singer knows what he was doing when he made wolverine cuts his claws through rouge, put nightcrawler in a broken chapel, or made magneto and xavier play chess together.. he was giving character. even when the story's are not as compelling, when the penciller knows what he's doing.. it'll be an incredible issue. as for the movies, the story can stick to whatever it wants as it'll be like an elseworld issue for me, but when its told as bad as what i've just watch...it's plain disappointment.
i don't know..bryan singer is either laughing his hats off... or just plain sad. as for me... i'm still sad. !@^$&^()!!!!!

isolation

2006-04-29T00:15:00.000+08:00

After about 2 and a half months of holiday.. this has to be the longest time i’m spending at home… thus the boredom and this current update.. it usually consists of a week at home then off to cyberria for about 5 days just so I can catch up with the latest movies in the cinemas..… then another week at home only to come back to cyber for another 5 or 3 days maybe to top up my dvd or game collection… and it cycles on. But this time its been about 3 weeks at home.. and hopefully off back to my ship(well maybe 2 or 3 days in cyber first...)
ok....cyberria..what can i say. its always fun staying in a house full of friends.. at first it was because there were acai, shoul, al and riq… and olie’s a frequent comer as well.. later on rodeq join in.. so when 5 out of the 9 housemates are your brothers… buat muke bodo jela.. but then.. sub, fred and po… joe as well seems to share something that made me felt really comfortable being there.. and there was always the girl issue..huhuhuhu.. but that’s a different story and it’s about 6 months ago.scrap that…anyway..… not to mention that riq is ragamuffin’s main man.. and acai’s the current bassist.... so every now and then some groupies would come to the house just to get riq’s autograph or just to get laid.. then there’d also be some girls from acai’s fanclub… coming to the house topless and we all just drool in anxiety…so..of course I’d go there week after week after week… haha merapu je.. mana ade.. it’s a sanctuary for me. I’m always more comfortable when friends are around and they’re good friends.brothers even… but everybody need to move on..shoul’s graduating somewhere around May… and next in line are po and sab I think.. I guess life goes on..

but the part about the ragamuffin is true.. riq is one of raga’s main man. And acai is the current bassist. Ragamuffin’s one of the local indie band that seems to be growing really well. Every now and then I’d try and not missed out on any of their gig’s and from the look of things, I think they have their own fan-based group in MMU all the way to sri kembangan. You have to start somewhere and raga seems to established that well enough. they’re going slow and steady right now doing gig’s here and there, now and then… even got their pictures on the NST the other day… something that shows a good start as well. Anyway.. 3 of their current songs seem to be doing pretty well.. 2 for 11, lecithin 1200mg for the broken heart, monophonic for virgo.. yes the title’s that long. Riq dgn izhar buat.... ayat power.. huhu. in some occasions you can here people singing along when the songs played, during certain coincidence you can here hummings of the songs from people who looks bored and wished they could sing it… I think they’re short of a vocalist right now… with the tunes and words that’s been pouring out of riq’s and izhar’s notebook, a good vocal can catapult them anytime(I think..err..i hope..). the next muck or bloody mary, to the next butter or disagree… who knows.. anyway.. all the best for them…

i am actually bored right now..and the fun part of mumbling about like this is the lesser part of thinking about it.. and writing what crosses me for at least i know its coming from the heart. err.. gibberish again. better get some sleep..**

MCOBA RUGBY

2006-04-30T19:33:00.000+08:00

4 colours of the rainbow... i wish :) without a doubt, cool.

lost

2006-04-17T01:17:00.000+08:00

Last week youppe and mateen came to terengganu.. I was out of idea as to where to take them.. out of desperation I even took them to the pasar payang.. just so that if people ask where they went they can always say pasar payang…. In the end we made a last minute plan of going to pulau kapas… I was never an outdoor person. I prefer the sound of my thx speaker and the soft touch of my xbox controller anytime compare to the striking heat that’d burn my skin and the unnecessary sweat of just walking around without a purpose(did I heard somebody shout get a life…!!??huhuhu....f*** off). Don’t get me wrong, I love sports.. now and then I’d join my friends for rugby, futsal or if I feel like it, a jog around my kampung or the beach even… but a picnic or the thought of spending the night in the jungle or an island.. I love doing it in high school, but as time goes by, and as these beard gets longer, I just think it’s a waste of time. But when mateen and youppe came, I just had to go… I’m guilty enough as it is for being a piss poor host(hey,,not my fault..terengganu maaa..)
Anyway… the daytrip to pulau kapas was.. how should I say.. hmm.. satisfying? No..thats not it… complete? Still don’t fit it… its way more than my small book of vocab can express.. it was something that a baby might feel when they first walk, a feeling that you get when you first ride your bike without the two small wheel sticking out… the feeling of winning your first rugby match... if I had my first sex I’d say it’s like making love for the first time…(I think that’s the feeling you should get).. it’s one of those feeling that just make you coming back for more…. Seriously, it a fucking great feeling… I will always be thankful at youppe and mateen for making me go there.. it seriously open up a new genre of fun for me…

so now.. I’m opening up my invitation to any of my friends who wants to go to any of the island in trg.. just so I can follow them and go to an island.. again and again and again.. can’t wait for my next holiday. Youppe put up some picture in his blog..though you should ignore the stretch part of his blog…heh.

There’s this one song from goo goo dolls that’s been playing in my mind..

I wish for things that I don't need
All I wanted
And what I chase won't set me free
It's all I wanted
And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees

Oh yeah everything's all wrong yeah
Everything's all wrong yeah

It keeps popping up in my head… well lots of stuff been popping up in my head recently.. it started with a lousy lazy afternoon in cyber when I decided to follow shoul and his girlfriend nad to alamanda… from a lazy afternoon it turned to some cross over between james blunt you’re beautiful and lifehouse’s you & me(haha..yeahh..right.. I wish.…) but then that’s just me… what I hope to be something from howie day’s collide was just a daze… well at least I tried… though not hard enough as youppe would say.. haha.. i think its something in the line of not knowing someone enough to start mumbling about it(whatever that means..).For now I’d just let plain coincidence lead the way… and that one goo goo doll song banging my head.**sigh.. where is my f***ing songbird...?

Oh yeah.. here’s a good one…

"The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along." – Jelaluddin Rumi

Man I’m fucked tonight… anyway, got that from the storyteller’s blog..yasmin ahmad herself… a bloody good blog.. as good as her advertisements and movies. Haven’t watch gubra, but sepet was something that I think will change the Malaysian film industry for the next few years(ignoring one or two rubbish that’d pop up during raya….).i’m no movie enthusiast or critics, I just love watching them… so it’s either good or bad.. did I felt it,or didn’t I? and for sepet I did feel it… so I think its good, and I won’t mind watching it again and again and again..heh. Can’t wait for gubra… hopefully nx week I’d still be in time for another week in cyberria wasted at the nearest cinemas.… for now.. just let the dice roll :) and coincidence take its toll.

ooo

2006-03-25T12:19:00.000+08:00

fuhh.. currently watching full metal panic.. collecting gundams.. listening to SO7 seandainya..reading err..nothing?oh wait..!youppe's blog(huhuhu).... eating chips ahoy!.. counting the probabilities.. hoping for the uncertainties.. wishing for a possibility... thinking... and wanting... dreaming maybe? haha..(pinch me pls..) whatever.tgh bosan nih.. supposedly going to kemaman in about err.. now..? but you know how plan goes.. especially when there are kids and families involved...so just writing in to kill some time. oh.. happen to come across a "49 facts about me something something.."(i think..) in the frenster board.i can't imagine myself writing 49 stuff about myself..lucky enough if i can come up with 5. heh.. like the number though..man... i am bored.. ops.. off now..(ohh the chilling and scary sound of crying babies..help meee.....**)..

reinventing

2006-04-13T12:05:00.000+08:00

a start of something new....?

2006-04-05T04:12:00.000+08:00

its 440am in cyber.. ac milan just beat lyon 3-1, don't really care actually(terbace result kat pc acai).. thing is, i can't sleep... either its bacause of this @#^$#$!! cough that i've been having for the past week, or because of the limited beds available to sleep.. or is there something else..hmm... maybe not..hopefully not! anyway, the other day i went and watch lucky no slevin and inside man at the cinema. kinda cool... one of those pulp fiction sort of story telling... bolela layan.. tak rugi. though it made me wonder what was the last movie i went to watch that made me felt really 'rugi'.... watching this one malay film did made me regret for life that i've ever spend rm8 on a movie(tobat tak tgk citer melayu kat wayang lagik..)and red eye wasn't really all worth it as well... so whats really worth paying my 10 bucks(11 even.) anyway?.... all those animations and comic book adaptation that keeps popping up are not that bad(spidey and xmen is wayy worth it)...now and then when there's a good novel turn movie(tom clancy's and john grisham's especially..) show's up you won't mind wasting that extra rm10 as well... cause you know it'll be good.those long hours of lotr and star wars as well was worth it.but i gusss we have to thank thx and special effects for all of that... i guess paying 10 bucks for good special effects is always worth it, even if the movie sucks(well almost...)... why am i mumbling on and about this anyway...? oh yeah.., i can't sleep.
anyway, superman's new movie is coming up. so's x-men 3... then there's pirate of the carribean2.. mi:3 as well.the list goes on for the summer...which by that time i'll be onboard one of the puteri ships(tsk..tsk..) pls let there'll be a rerun around september...**sigh..
hmm.. dah dekat suku botol ubat batuk minum nih...still coughing and not sleeping... maybe i should try closing my eyes..hmm..
*******

gibberish..

2006-03-08T04:15:00.000+08:00

today i woke up at 9 in cyber, picked up azrin at 10 somewhere in cheras.and went to watch king kong at 11(yes..11 a.m!)... midvalley was showing some of the oscar nominated films(lucky me..)wasted some time at midvalley... and went to play touch rugby with petet and friends at around 640pm(better late than never i'd say..).. after about 20 minutes of play we'd soon realised that thunder was rumbling loud and lighting was striking just 2inches from petets head(err.. some people has that effect :) ) had a 20 minute chat in the rain, took a bath at the field and off to midvalley again to watch the cronicles of narnia(which was a 4 out of 5 stars for me, cool stuff..oh..IT WAS THE LAST RERUN!) and then back to cyber as i am now.. making a short story shorter.. between that time, the climax of my life had to be either when king kong was having the fight of his life with t-rex, or the comeback of aslan from the dead.. (yeay..)

2 days ago i woke up around 11 by the heavy knock at the door by my 2 year old nephew, forcing me to open up so he can play inside. around 12 i'm holding my xbox controller cursing through every unfinish game there is..(current favourite nfs:most wanted,4 out of 5 as well..) while my nephew plays around with my gundam models and i slowly wept inside as i saw one gundam leg flying pass me... and the days cycles on... with every vehicle upgrade being the climax of the day...(wtf@#$&^%!???)
i guess this is as soulless, psycho and nerd(as mirul put it..) as it gets. but in a way its a life i'm happy with... and in the end i guess thats what count. with some of my friends keep telling me to save up a bit, and me with my opinion that money is money, whats the use in having them if i can't enjoy them.. i guess they'll be having the last laugh in the end..but hopefully i'd wise up before that. i'm still 23 for **** sake.
anyway..to sum it all up, life's good..i'm bored.. but at least it's good.. but then i'm bored.. how i wish life was better. **sigh..

ashes... :)

2005-11-08T00:24:00.000+08:00

4weeks ago...
in some ways... songs are like decoders.. taping the lifes that we live(err..crap!)... sort of..
anyway.. i copied this whole collection of mp3s from youppe before i got onboard about 2 weeks ago.. and it wasn't about 2 days ago that i started listening to them.. scanning every single folder that i took.. and in some ways i felt like i was going back through time.. especially when i open up ash. how i missed their songs.. songs i'd hummed all day..those words i'd used.. it was the band that made me realised how good alternative was..

"Feelings are distant and I know guilt by name, It was the hardest thing Watching you slip away Oh sometimes, sometimes

Oh sometimes, sometimes

Sometimes it happens feelings die Whole years are lost in the blink of an eye We once had it all but events conspired Oh sometimes....."

one of my favourites.. not as deep... but i guess i had always loved plain simple words. which was ash. **sighh...

4 days ago...
without realising it.. todays raya.. wtf..??its 7 already.. by 8 i should be in the control room.. luckily today by 9 we can knock off..just a quick round in the engine room for today. for the sake of raya.. heh:) and luckily we have 1 person competent enough to recite the khutbah.. so.. adela jugak semayang raya. alhamdulillah.. :p and the weather's quite nice today.. and the ships not rolling as hard.. i guess it was a great day.. after semayang raya.. had some chow.. then went back to bed.. SELAMAT HARI RAYE, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN. oh.. luckily youppe had one whole folder of raya songs.. so i slept with the sound and those feeling of singing with my brothers back in prep school in 96. i wasn't feeling that bad celebrating raya onboard... was looking forward to it actually.. but remembering that feeling that i had back in 96 when we had to fast in prep school that made me miss a bit of home.. fucking raya songs... anyway.. selamat raye and selamat deepavali. maaf zahir batin!

today..
its port day in bintulu.. me with my phone connecting to the internet with a rate that would make a 28.8 bps modem sounds like heaven.... while others with their phone connecting across the sea.. talking to someone they care.. i almost had one.. that girl that had what i need..heh.. turns out it was something that i couldn't have. anyway.. called 1 or 2 friends... wish them raya.. sigh..better get to sleep then.. tomorrow's another day of work.. weh.. check out blog youppe.. poetis tahap tinggi nyer.. wish i could go a bit to that sort of level.. rather than mumbling around nonsense(about the same old girl..??).. heh:)

sometimes, lost in you,girl from mars,burn baby burn,goldfinger,angel interceptor,a life less ordinary,walking barefotted,starcrossed,shining light,i'm gonna fall..etc..etc...f***--->fav ash songs..

2005-10-02T08:10:00.000+08:00

below is a post which i wrote yesterday(out of boredom) but didn't have the time to finish it so i saved it as a draft...
.....

i'm in cyber now... spending my last few days before going off to sea. my flight to bintulu is tomorrow... and my ship's coming in on the 3rd. come to think of it, i got around 24 hours before going to the airport tomorrow.. sucks...

anyway,woke up from my sleep.. 8 a.m in cyber is always good.. i don't know why but there'll always be that scent before rain that the breeze brings in.. (ke mmg nak hujann...hmmm??) gonna miss that scent. anyway.. semlm jumper mirul, daud,ghazali.. the regulars at shah alam.. had some laughs(as always...) and daud kept asking about that girl(and laughing along the way..) which girl..? some girl.. hahaha..(tanak cakp..) anyway.. she already has a bf.. and me, with a little bit of guilt i guess.. still chats around with her.. sometimes things you hope for won't always be the things you need... and the things that i need, well... i found some of it in her.. nevermind..

.....
a day later(er..thats today..) i'm in a cyber cafe(loser gilerr) in bintulu... just read a testimonial daud left in my frenster.. and a comment he left in www.1995srss2.blogspot.com(our chatroom..??huhuhuh).. sedey lak rase.. never felt so appreciated by a friend... i guess in a way, the primary school reunion was a success.. i mean now i have friends i never known i had... friends i thought i'd lost.. thanks guys.

oh.. ade buat fotopage... kat stretch.fotopages.com...

ok..chiow.

2005-09-28T15:55:00.000+08:00

http://stretch.fotopages.com

plain stupid..

2005-09-11T18:33:00.000+08:00

i was gazing at the ceiling..alone in my room..watching a spider knitting away at the corner.. damn spider. i smiled to myself for about a minute before i realised how retarded i look... 2 weeks ago somebody told me that she has a boyfriend.. wasn't that heartbroken..but it took me some time to realise how life's irony happens when you least want it too.. and when it does, it really hits you at the spot. ealier during my holiday i spend a lot of time with the guys at cyber...as i watch al, riq.. ptt.. and watching acai typing deviously on his phone... i realised how alone it felt.. i felt.. its been a long time to actually talk with somebody..6 years..maybe..?

'come on stretch..bole nih..' that was riqs quote..haha..
'kitorang support nih..'-cyberria's..
'rase rushing giler..' -that was somebody's quote...(damnn..huhu)
'rakus..'-err..that's petet's and mache's..
'hahaha'-kunk
"stretchhhhhh.."-shoul

ok..what actually happen was, riq help out.. the guys at cyber supported it.. the result came out..then the critics went wild.. anyway, didn't really care much cause it was just fun and games.. and alone is always better for me than being dishonest with myself.. when the chemicals just don't add up.. its no use getting the extra potion.
but that was around 6 weeks ago...and after that its back to the joypad and keyboard..(winning eleven mmg terbaekkk...)

then one day.. i met with a friend from primary school.. and what started out as a joke, later on.. became one of the best gath i've went... full details at www.1995srss2.blogspot.com.
one of the job was looking for contact no's... and 1 no particularly caught the eye... long lost crush..?old flame maybe..heh... atau mmg takde kerja..huhu. after a few msg's later..

"derah ngat mung nih... dok kohor doh..." -apis first impression..
"lekk bohhh..." -zaki's
"takdela..memain jeh.. mana ade tunang.. tapi bakalla..." -somebody's words... hahaha
"hahahahhaha.." -hazid's

**sigh... when you really want something most, it'll always end up being the things you can't have. life's jokes at its best. irony isn't it.? anyway.. two days, a few karaoke and 2 nights in a row at fasya's later and everything went to normal... still fun and games i guess(ayat cover..huhu). bole giler..

i guess in one sweet word.. desperation(jgn marah riqqq...).. haha..did i really say that.. i guess it was the feeling of wanting to be needed..being somebody's in shining armor... or maybe it was just the fact of wanting to find somebody to share something with.. i guess two months holiday without doing nothing really did made me felt a bit... lonely i guess. it was just plain stupidity.

don't really know what else to write actually...and the spider's done with its web. better get a broom..

2005-08-26T12:56:00.000+08:00

life's irony.. sucks.

a tribute....

2005-08-18T16:00:00.000+08:00

damn.. luper tutup curtain lagik.. by 8 i can feel the bright scorching sun touching my skin..and thats the end of my sleep.. why did i forgot to close the curtain..damnn! start the pc..listen to some mp3s... and hey.. why not open the blog..
anyway.. i was writing down a few notes about the upcoming primary school reunion the other day(yes its that serious...) and found this sketchy article that i wrote after SPM. first idea nak buat website..kire mcm tribute utk all blacks 2000... even got some pictures scaned during that time.. ntah mana hilang ntah gamba tuh... anyway.. here's how i wrote it... mind the mentality and simple english as its coming from somebody who just finished his SPM..

some might say.. great spirits overcomes everything..and action speaks for itself.. and for every single game that i've played last year, each one is an enjoyable one.. in every game..every field.. every single second that i'm with my mates of blacks..i know its gonna be a good,incredible game..no matter the odds..whatever the outcome. heck..vajiravudh and those KSAH boys was 5 times bigger than us in size(over exaggerating)...but we always have confidence..cause we have our own heavyweights.. we have mache and butcher..vaji and pondar.. 3 of them didn't even play during KSAH.. and then there's shoul..muscle streaming through his arms and legs(dulula..huhu)....he can hook and throw with ease.. then there's fidz..gaban and bean.. never taller than the opponent during a lineout, but never loses a ball... even the scrums are hard to break with them as lock. then there's the loose forwards.. our mighty kerbo..baeng.. and myself.(hehe:)) and later on topet came and developed fast... kerbo with his robust..and baeng with his speed..topet with his sadistic and scary gameplay(literally)..man how i love the forwards.. shout a name and they'll be there for you..then there's kadak as scrum half..who knows whether its out to the heavyweights, going for his incredible break.. or out to the lines.. where there'll be petet waiting to do his sometimes magical touch who can make a winning game.. to acai who always know what to do with the ball in the centre of the field...then rudy who kicks ass with his unpredictable dummies and sidesteps.. pass it to our wingers, ash and jimmy or sometimes eddy... fucking fast they are.. and lastly to the invicible imy... our mighty fullback.. our brick wall and our canonball... even the reserves..al,hijjas,raihan, poklare,cowboy,skaters,charles,alang,mimir.... every one of them can play a good game and back the team up when we're hit..
a slight movement, a feint sound, even with closed eyes..and we'd still know what to do with the ball.. we were confident and we trusted each other.even if its the impossible.. we'd still trust 'em.. thats how deep our brotherhood..teamwork is..
early during the year we were coachless..i thought it was gonna be a disastraous year..no coach..few players..disciplinary problems.. but then i was wrong..every one showed great spirit(speret koleq..??heh)..its either we healed as a team..or die as individual..and we healed! a team was born..and later on J.J came as coach and we became stronger.
it was a fucking good team..best team i've played..we'd be in every final a tournament can offer...won some..lose some... but in our heart..my heart.. we'll always be the best.
thank you guys. may all the rucks and mauls that we've felt throughout the years is cherished in every single black's heart..we were champions..in a way of our own.

haha... bkn main semangat lagik... then there was suppose to be pictures put all around the article.. just to make it more nostalgic..and to prove a point.. sort of.. anyway.. nowadays.. though weight 20kg more and run 10sec slower than before.. some of us still play.. in fact petet is handling the mcoba team.. only imy seems to be doing good and looks the same...
went to koleq last 3 weeks and had a friendly with them.. never really met them and i don't dare comment on anything.but from the game we played..i just can say that i wish they had more heart.its good that they have that speret koleq..but without the will to improve yourself so that you won't be a burden to your teammates...there'll always be a loop in the team. btw.. the cheering squad left even before the game stopped(wtf!!@#$%^&*)***sigh..those were the days.
dahla tuh.. tgn dah letey.. lain kali la plak..

****

2005-08-17T16:57:00.000+08:00

gilaa.. last blog lepas raya..haha.. patut mache marah sgt.. anyway.. few months past(almost a yearr.??..nahh) hmm.. i was gonna write about something just now..hmm.. let me recall.. ooo.. a straight as song.. got that from 9094's blog..

"The Kolej Song is more than enough to invoke pride, to inspire, to motivate collegians for the past few decades to strive for excellence. I don't see why the present boys cannot feel the same pride and the song not to have the same effect on them. Just because no where in the song did mention about "mengikut Amalina dapat 17A1" doesn't mean the song has lost its relevance and therefore the need to reinvent the wheel!

Sing this in your heart fellow budak koleq, if you can't feel even a tinge of pride out of this song, go and hurl yourself into Lubuk Mak Anjing:

(....here's where he posted the college song)

No song can better embodies what Malay College is all about - the pride, the tradition of excellence, the history, the meritocracy in action despite its aristocratic beginning (hence "didikan untuk semua"), the hope of every collegian that one day they will make a contribution to the country and its people, and the promise that we may leave MCKK, but MCKK will never leave us ("tak kulupakan jasa-jasamu"). I bet my entire life saving (which is not much) that the newly composed song can come no where near to this song (kudos to Datuk Salleh & Co. who penned the song - unlike its modern day usurper, this song actually came from college boys!)."

kat budak koleq.. pls have a go at the blog... postings where he discussed about koleq..really..how should i put it.. enflames(if there is such a word..).. it gives me a sense of relief that i was not a part of the so-called modern day new malay college.. though i wish i could do more to give present budak koleq the pride..passion..tradition(always love that 3 words that they came up with..) that we instill.. just have a go at the blog.. pls..

last few weeks been quite hectic.. spent most of my days in cyberjaya.. chasing, searching.. or is it waiting for the perfect sunrise.. only to realise its broad daylight and the sun needs to set first(ape gelak2 riq..??).... then again it was great spending time with the guys.. wasting their rm20 electricity bills.

this coming 3rd sept some friends of mine from primary school(srss2) is holding a reunion.. helping out in anyway i can.. check out www.1995srss2.blogspot.com for full details. kalau berani bacela... huhu.

and now its back home..counting the days,waiting for that one piece of paper telling me to go back to work.... then it'll be another 4 months.. fuhh.....

2004-12-04T00:09:00.000+08:00

haha.... got bored... i was reading back what i wrote in this place.. the only stuff worth reading was about the spidey movie.. i guess. anyway. couldn't believe it's been about a month since i last wrote something.. and the one i did before this.. erghh utter crap.. what was i thinking when i wrote that.. not that the ones before that are not as crap.. just that it has some sense in them, rather than the last one i did..

anyway.. to sum it all up.. raya passed.. celebrated it in middlesbrough.. cho had a friend.. and he insist that we follow him.. luckily his friend was a girl.. more like an akak actually..so there was lots of good food... rendang, ketupat, lemang, nasi minyak, soto..etc.. the only thing thats missing was satay..**sigh... anyway.. 3 days after that i went for my orals... there was a great drop of light bestowed upon me as i walk out of the MCA(marine coastguard agency) building that day. alhamdulillah..i'm now a junior engineer. hehe..

oh, the picture is at cho's friend's while the other one was during our own small get together.. just us 20 guys.. yup.. for the sake of raya..

mckk9600.com is going well.. had a few glitches and eddie was busy when it first came online.. now looks as though he's going all out.. oh, along with faqroul, yam, mache..the mods i mean.. and the rest of the guys seems to be helping along the way as well.. looks quite good though now.. check it out.. http://www.mckk9600.com/

now i'm all f*cked up... my flight's maybe on the 10th, so i heard.. the college's helping out with the tickets.. we'll get the confirmation this monday... any date will do for me.. haven't even bought a thing for my family.. mann.. my sister asked for a bag.. wtf..?? not that i don't wanna get her one.. but i'm really bad at this sort of thing.. if she asked for s'thing like.. an mp3 player.. digicam.. besst yet.. a movie.. then i'd know which place to dig.. a bag..??? esp for a 16 year old girl... aww.. is it something like a hello kitty stuff or a more skate sort of bag.. i'm f*ck up beyond all recognition.. whatever.. better call home again..

can't believe its been a year.. so what have i been doing.. being in the uk for a year is good enough for me.. i mean.. i'm not actually Uk material here.. can't even speak english that well(not that the other u.k students here are that good..) but seriously.. some of my friends back home can speak better anyday.. i'm lucky enough to be here as it is.. in fact i have to thank petet for that.. his dad told me about this stuff. me.? i was just looking for a free ride to study here after the SPM.. got my wish.. now its back home.. and off to sea. it's been fun.. but i guess there's just no place like home..

went to a 9094 blog just now.. out of curiosity after i read what eddie post at the site. the blog's quite fun to read.. then i notice that they put a link to every budak koleq there is.. sort of.. even me.. heh.. so.. i'm putting a link to their's as well.. check it out.. koleq9094.blogspot.com esp if you're a budak koleq.. there's always some news about the school, and certain time when they post something for old time sake, you'd just can't help but remember your own.. again.. f*ck off.. as i've said before.. it's not about obsession, its about being proud of being a part of something.. and you can never ignore memories esp when its of families(well.. next to my mom, dad and sis.. they are my bros...)

then again.. **sigh.. selamat hari raye.. maaf zahir batin. isn't too late i guess..

addicted

2004-11-03T09:17:00.000+08:00

sweet.. yet bitter.
flawless... in a glance, but not as perfect..
its like the smell after the rain, but its completely dry..
**sighh..
so near... yet so impossible..
truth in a thousand lies..
plain white in a black box
and i hate black..
really...
wanting a sphere and getting an imcomplete circle
nevertheless...

i'm trying to express something here... and trying i am, so hard sampai aku pun x paham ape aku tulis...muhahhaha..(ye ke..?) jiwang..?? pegi mampus!hehe
**sighh toya nyer.... yop paham kot...(hehehe) had a chat with him last weekend. and lots of other old friends..:)) lama tak sembang.. lots of stuff came out.. too much come to think of it...f***.. dia citer kat ptt abis aku..muhahahaha abaikan.. tgh fuck up betul nih... oh yeah.. to 9600 pegila regist www.mckk9600.com. eddie baru buat.. chiow.

osmosis jones...

2004-10-23T11:49:00.000+08:00

as i'm writing this, my hands are freezing cold and i have 2 layers of shirt and a sweater wrap around me. its just been what..9 days and i'm sick as hell right now. maybe its the cold.. maybe its the nutrition, maybe its the orals.. who knows...its 5 in the morning, i haven't slept because of the evil genius(carikla game tuh..serius seronok) and the rice haven't cook yet.. though sleep is the most comfortable and god knows greatest option there is... i need to sahur... or i'll be starving to death the next day.. and if i ever let my eyes shut right now it'll be bukak posa for all i know. its autumn and the wind is blowing like its clearing out the whole town.... **sigh.. how miserable the weather could be. waaa the rice cooker just click...(lebey kurangla bunyi dia...) hihi makan..telan panadol, tidoooo... okeh.. see ya. selamat bukak posa.

ayam percik

2004-10-19T14:20:00.000+08:00

haha.. 5 days already... and still going strong.. childdish..?? who gives a damn.. heh.. its a bit disappointing though fasting here.. there's not a malay community near here, so malaysian food is out.. and the galley's food, **sighh.. the western food was quite nice but eventually we got bored.. and as hard as they tried to make rice using any of the indian or malaysian cuisine.. it'll either go bad or there would be no taste... try cooking without putting any salt or chilli in there and you'll get my point... and all they left for us for sahur is cornflakes.. 20 years(well maybe 15..) of sahur, this is the first time i have to had cornflakes for sahur... luckily we have our all purpose rice cooker, which saved the day..hehe

anyway.. check this site out.. nakraya.blogpsot.com hihi.. a site we did for hari raye... poyo..?? again.. who gives a damn..heh..ishh posa2.. anyway..just leave a msg at the chatterbox if you go in there, the comment box is filled with ucapan raya....