its 440am in cyber.. ac milan just beat lyon 3-1, don't really care actually(terbace result kat pc acai).. thing is, i can't sleep... either its bacause of this @#^$#$!! cough that i've been having for the past week, or because of the limited beds available to sleep.. or is there something else..hmm... maybe not..hopefully not! anyway, the other day i went and watch lucky no slevin and inside man at the cinema. kinda cool... one of those pulp fiction sort of story telling... bolela layan.. tak rugi. though it made me wonder what was the last movie i went to watch that made me felt really 'rugi'.... watching this one malay film did made me regret for life that i've ever spend rm8 on a movie(tobat tak tgk citer melayu kat wayang lagik..)and red eye wasn't really all worth it as well... so whats really worth paying my 10 bucks(11 even.) anyway?.... all those animations and comic book adaptation that keeps popping up are not that bad(spidey and xmen is wayy worth it)...now and then when there's a good novel turn movie(tom clancy's and john grisham's especially..) show's up you won't mind wasting that extra rm10 as well... cause you know it'll be good.those long hours of lotr and star wars as well was worth it.but i gusss we have to thank thx and special effects for all of that... i guess paying 10 bucks for good special effects is always worth it, even if the movie sucks(well almost...)... why am i mumbling on and about this anyway...? oh yeah.., i can't sleep.
anyway, superman's new movie is coming up. so's x-men 3... then there's pirate of the carribean2.. mi:3 as well.the list goes on for the summer...which by that time i'll be onboard one of the puteri ships(tsk..tsk..) pls let there'll be a rerun around september...**sigh..
hmm.. dah dekat suku botol ubat batuk minum nih...still coughing and not sleeping... maybe i should try closing my eyes..hmm..
*******

ooo

fuhh.. currently watching full metal panic.. collecting gundams.. listening to SO7 seandainya..reading err..nothing?oh wait..!youppe's blog(huhuhu).... eating chips ahoy!.. counting the probabilities.. hoping for the uncertainties.. wishing for a possibility... thinking... and wanting... dreaming maybe? haha..(pinch me pls..) whatever.tgh bosan nih.. supposedly going to kemaman in about err.. now..? but you know how plan goes.. especially when there are kids and families involved...so just writing in to kill some time. oh.. happen to come across a "49 facts about me something something.."(i think..) in the frenster board.i can't imagine myself writing 49 stuff about myself..lucky enough if i can come up with 5. heh.. like the number though..man... i am bored.. ops.. off now..(ohh the chilling and scary sound of crying babies..help meee.....**)..

gibberish..

today i woke up at 9 in cyber, picked up azrin at 10 somewhere in cheras.and went to watch king kong at 11(yes..11 a.m!)... midvalley was showing some of the oscar nominated films(lucky me..)wasted some time at midvalley... and went to play touch rugby with petet and friends at around 640pm(better late than never i'd say..).. after about 20 minutes of play we'd soon realised that thunder was rumbling loud and lighting was striking just 2inches from petets head(err.. some people has that effect :) ) had a 20 minute chat in the rain, took a bath at the field and off to midvalley again to watch the cronicles of narnia(which was a 4 out of 5 stars for me, cool stuff..oh..IT WAS THE LAST RERUN!) and then back to cyber as i am now.. making a short story shorter.. between that time, the climax of my life had to be either when king kong was having the fight of his life with t-rex, or the comeback of aslan from the dead.. (yeay..)

2 days ago i woke up around 11 by the heavy knock at the door by my 2 year old nephew, forcing me to open up so he can play inside. around 12 i'm holding my xbox controller cursing through every unfinish game there is..(current favourite nfs:most wanted,4 out of 5 as well..) while my nephew plays around with my gundam models and i slowly wept inside as i saw one gundam leg flying pass me... and the days cycles on... with every vehicle upgrade being the climax of the day...(wtf@#$&^%!???)
i guess this is as soulless, psycho and nerd(as mirul put it..) as it gets. but in a way its a life i'm happy with... and in the end i guess thats what count. with some of my friends keep telling me to save up a bit, and me with my opinion that money is money, whats the use in having them if i can't enjoy them.. i guess they'll be having the last laugh in the end..but hopefully i'd wise up before that. i'm still 23 for **** sake.
anyway..to sum it all up, life's good..i'm bored.. but at least it's good.. but then i'm bored.. how i wish life was better. **sigh..

ashes... :)

4weeks ago...
in some ways... songs are like decoders.. taping the lifes that we live(err..crap!)... sort of..
anyway.. i copied this whole collection of mp3s from youppe before i got onboard about 2 weeks ago.. and it wasn't about 2 days ago that i started listening to them.. scanning every single folder that i took.. and in some ways i felt like i was going back through time.. especially when i open up ash. how i missed their songs.. songs i'd hummed all day..those words i'd used.. it was the band that made me realised how good alternative was..

"Feelings are distant and I know guilt by name, It was the hardest thing Watching you slip away Oh sometimes, sometimes

Oh sometimes, sometimes

Sometimes it happens feelings die Whole years are lost in the blink of an eye We once had it all but events conspired Oh sometimes....."

one of my favourites.. not as deep... but i guess i had always loved plain simple words. which was ash. **sighh...

4 days ago...
without realising it.. todays raya.. wtf..??its 7 already.. by 8 i should be in the control room.. luckily today by 9 we can knock off..just a quick round in the engine room for today. for the sake of raya.. heh:) and luckily we have 1 person competent enough to recite the khutbah.. so.. adela jugak semayang raya. alhamdulillah.. :p and the weather's quite nice today.. and the ships not rolling as hard.. i guess it was a great day.. after semayang raya.. had some chow.. then went back to bed.. SELAMAT HARI RAYE, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN. oh.. luckily youppe had one whole folder of raya songs.. so i slept with the sound and those feeling of singing with my brothers back in prep school in 96. i wasn't feeling that bad celebrating raya onboard... was looking forward to it actually.. but remembering that feeling that i had back in 96 when we had to fast in prep school that made me miss a bit of home.. fucking raya songs... anyway.. selamat raye and selamat deepavali. maaf zahir batin!

today..
its port day in bintulu.. me with my phone connecting to the internet with a rate that would make a 28.8 bps modem sounds like heaven.... while others with their phone connecting across the sea.. talking to someone they care.. i almost had one.. that girl that had what i need..heh.. turns out it was something that i couldn't have. anyway.. called 1 or 2 friends... wish them raya.. sigh..better get to sleep then.. tomorrow's another day of work.. weh.. check out blog youppe.. poetis tahap tinggi nyer.. wish i could go a bit to that sort of level.. rather than mumbling around nonsense(about the same old girl..??).. heh:)


sometimes, lost in you,girl from mars,burn baby burn,goldfinger,angel interceptor,a life less ordinary,walking barefotted,starcrossed,shining light,i'm gonna fall..etc..etc...f***--->fav ash songs..

below is a post which i wrote yesterday(out of boredom) but didn't have the time to finish it so i saved it as a draft...
.....

i'm in cyber now... spending my last few days before going off to sea. my flight to bintulu is tomorrow... and my ship's coming in on the 3rd. come to think of it, i got around 24 hours before going to the airport tomorrow.. sucks...

anyway,woke up from my sleep.. 8 a.m in cyber is always good.. i don't know why but there'll always be that scent before rain that the breeze brings in.. (ke mmg nak hujann...hmmm??) gonna miss that scent. anyway.. semlm jumper mirul, daud,ghazali.. the regulars at shah alam.. had some laughs(as always...) and daud kept asking about that girl(and laughing along the way..) which girl..? some girl.. hahaha..(tanak cakp..) anyway.. she already has a bf.. and me, with a little bit of guilt i guess.. still chats around with her.. sometimes things you hope for won't always be the things you need... and the things that i need, well... i found some of it in her.. nevermind..

.....
a day later(er..thats today..) i'm in a cyber cafe(loser gilerr) in bintulu... just read a testimonial daud left in my frenster.. and a comment he left in www.1995srss2.blogspot.com(our chatroom..??huhuhuh).. sedey lak rase.. never felt so appreciated by a friend... i guess in a way, the primary school reunion was a success.. i mean now i have friends i never known i had... friends i thought i'd lost.. thanks guys.

oh.. ade buat fotopage... kat stretch.fotopages.com...

ok..chiow.